Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize