Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
