i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
