Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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