No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
