I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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