If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
