dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
