I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Randomize
