It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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