Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
