Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
