I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
