Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
