I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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