I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
are you so shy because you have an std?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
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