Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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