Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
