Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
These tits shall not be calmed
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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