Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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