I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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