I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
