is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
