am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
