Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
