if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
