He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
