She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
