just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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