yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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