He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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