i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
