I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
