Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
