dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
