she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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