I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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