The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
