Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
