cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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