Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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