I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
false alarm, still single
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
