You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Is it because I queefed?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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