At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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