quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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