I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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