i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
