I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
