i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
