If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
